Brave Face for Christmas Time....19.12.18
Christmas time is nearly here.... more twinkly lights outside peoples houses each year, Christmas songs on the radio... & plus having two young children, who are super excited... I can't get away from the fact that Santa is coming next week. But this year in all honesty Christmas can come & go....Christmas Eve, Christmas Day... & Boxing Day. They are just going to be normal days to me this year... as sadly my dad won't be here to celebrate this Christmas, as he sadly passed over in June this year.
You see my Dad loved Christmas & for the first time here on Earth & in my lifetime my dad won't be here to celebrate in the physical world with us all. He won't be putting on any Christmas hats, telling silly jokes out the crackers....& this Christmas will hit me more than I ever thought it would... you see my Dad to me made Christmas time. He loved decorating the house up, even had his own little Christmas tree he used to decorate so much it used to lean over like the 'Leaning Tower of Pisa'. He had all his light up decorations out in the back garden, & all his musical moving Santa's (which my son still to this day doesn't like!!) He used to collect light up cottages, & the back room at Christmas time it was so magical & noisy with all the moving machinery... the thought of this year feels me with such sadness & dread.
Understandably my mum hasn't put up hardly any Christmas decorations. What Christmas means to me is being with my family, eating , drinking and spending quality time together, even though it may be in separate rooms at times, it doesn't take away the fact that we were all together.
This year I want to remember my Dad on Christmas Day with such love and affection. I love my dad so much & even though he won't be here with us in the physical world, I certainly know he will be with us in the spirit... sitting next to us all, helping us raise a glass or two to celebrate the truly magnificent man he really was to us all. He might not have been the type of man who told you he loved you on a daily basis, but I know deep down he loves all his family.
Christmas time can trigger so many happy & sad times to many people around the world. Many loved ones may have passed over around this festive period. I just want to send out lots of love & light to the people who are struggling mentally & emotionally at this time of year. It's really hard to put a brave face on... knowing deep down your mentally having a battle with your own thoughts, thinking that at any given moment something may trigger you to just break down & cry... mentally telling yourself every two seconds your okay, your okay.... struggling to keep your chin up.
With the love & support from our family & friends, we will be okay... we must remember the happy memories we had with our loved ones, we need to stay strong & try to be positive.. knowing they are right beside us loving & guiding us each & every day.
Love you Dad. xx